Wednesday, 21 November 2007

What kind of Turkey Day Workout Wonder are you?

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An older and wiser bird, I workout each and every Thanksgiving morning. From observing other Turkey Day Workout Wonders (TDWWs) over the years, the day definitely draws a mixed bag to the gym. Do any of these describe you?

The Butterball: He or she, this overweight TDWW is especially attracted to any Thanksgiving Day cardio opportunity at the neighborhood gym. Their t-shirt rides up, stomach hangs out and they are highly moist with dripping sweat, unaccustomed to making basic aerobic dance moves or turning on the treadmill. Like a bird in the oven, they often complain the gym is hot. For some reason, Butterball believes burning 750 calories will justify consuming 4,000 later in the day.

One Deck of Cards-Sized Serving of Breast Meat Only, Please: What a TDWW to behold -- One Deck has a body fat percentage under ten percent year-round, revealing her six-pack to the gym crowd as she reaches for the lat pulldown bar. One Deck will spend over two hours at the gym on Thanksgiving Day, which is just like any other day, unless she's cooking ... then she gets up earlier.

Can I Have A Slice of Both?: Slice of Both is the most joyful TDWW because she knows burning an extra 300-400 calories on this day of thanks means the ability to consume that second slice of Gramma's pumpkin pie. Slice of Both traditionally makes a rare visit to the weight room for 20 minutes of resistance training to justify two giant dollops of whip cream on each slice, trading pie recipes with any fellow TDWWs willing to listen. She's always sore while shopping on Friday.

Rip Me Off That Turkey Leg: Rip Me is one ripped gym rat. He's a 20-something weightlifting dude capable of downing the entire turkey leg in three bites. He makes no distinction between white meat and dark meat, but on Turkey Day his workout is carefully timed immediately prior to heading over to his mom's house, where he's hoping those bulging biceps and slicked down hair will attract a new guest to the family table -- his older sister's hot best friend Cindi.

I Don't Want To Feel Fat: I Don't Want To is not a year-round gym regular. He or she usually appears at the gym when they've gained five pounds, have a high school reunion coming up or are especially down after shopping for jeans the day before. But they are one dedicated TDWW, getting a heckuva workout in every Thanksgiving so 'they don't feel fat' as they stuff their face at 4:30 pm.

2,400 Calorie Special: 2,400 is a TDWW who boasts decent self-esteem, is generally optimistic and entirely content with life. He's got a solid job, a wife and two kids, a size 34 waist and a dog named Riley. 2,400 loves joining in the Thanksgiving merriment and festivities at the gym, and he's especially welcoming to newcomers because he's so nice. A model of moderation, 2,400 will consume no more than 2,400 calories on Thanksgiving Day as that is his daily caloric intake year-round.

I am a hybrid of Slice of Both and I Don't Want To, peppered with 1,800 on some Thanksgivings -- the female version of 2,400. Happy Thanksgiving to all the TDWWs out there! I am truly glad you're at the gym ... that's 1,800 talkin'. Thanks to Chris Sparling's hysterical post on The 10 people you'll find in any gym for inspiring my thoughts on TDWWs.

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